Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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