How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
