Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
