wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
3pm strippers are depressing
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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