I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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