I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
