New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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