i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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