Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
