So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We need a shit load of segways right now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
