well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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