I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
