what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
