Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
