I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
