I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
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Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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