i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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