Say something about gay babies.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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