You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
