definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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