remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
