i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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