You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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