I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
