I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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