i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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