Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
