why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
