Porn is love you can see.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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