I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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