____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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