how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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