I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
