turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
