New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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