i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
