his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
