his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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