We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
