How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
