so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
