I'm drive I can fine osifer
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
