Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
