meet me or not, i'm out of control
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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