So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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