I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
