On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
