I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
