i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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