I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
