WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
