May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
