Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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