I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
