mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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