He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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