If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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