It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
