Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
