Tell her she can't have a vagina
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
