So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
