And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
