She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Operation Purity has been aborted
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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