We named our party play list daddy issues
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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