problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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