i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
is it fun? or sober?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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